Writer explains how to play the dating game
By: Tonishia Hagans
Issue date: 10/1/08 Section: Opinion
If after dating, your relationship grows into something serious, don't give up who you are. I sometimes see people who get in serious relationships and want to spend every waking moment with their spouse. Don't do that. Give your spouse space, have a girls/guys night out with your friends. Don't drop all your friends because now you are in a relationship and don't feel the need for them. Don't make your spouse's friends your new friends, thinking that is way to keep you guys close. You want your spouse and your friends to get along but you don't want them to be best friends. Keep them separate. That way if your relationship ends, there is life after that person.
Ladies, if you go out on a date with guy, and he is being a gentleman, don't forget to be a lady. By that I mean, if the guy pays for everything on the date, at least have the common courtesy to say thank you. If he cares enough about your safety to open the car door for you and make sure you are in safely, you can at least make sure the door is unlocked for him by the time he gets to the driver's side. Appreciate a man if he is going out of his way to impress and please you.
Always be open to try new things. For example, if you have never eaten sushi but your date has suggested going to a sushi restaurant, don't immediately say no to the idea. Try it first, and then you can say whether or not you like it. Being close-minded is a really big turn off.
Do: be appreciative, a good listener, understanding, leave a little to the imagination, trust, give your undivided attention during conversation, compromise.
After asking the opinion of a few friends and drawing on my own judgment, my best advice is don't have sex on the first date. If you want more out of the person than just a date, then don't give up all you have to offer on the first date. The person doesn't need to know you inside-out by the end of the night. If the person you are dating tries to make you feel as if you need to "put out" or else, then you don't really want to be with them anyway. It's clear what they want.
Ladies, if you go out on a date with guy, and he is being a gentleman, don't forget to be a lady. By that I mean, if the guy pays for everything on the date, at least have the common courtesy to say thank you. If he cares enough about your safety to open the car door for you and make sure you are in safely, you can at least make sure the door is unlocked for him by the time he gets to the driver's side. Appreciate a man if he is going out of his way to impress and please you.
Always be open to try new things. For example, if you have never eaten sushi but your date has suggested going to a sushi restaurant, don't immediately say no to the idea. Try it first, and then you can say whether or not you like it. Being close-minded is a really big turn off.
Do: be appreciative, a good listener, understanding, leave a little to the imagination, trust, give your undivided attention during conversation, compromise.
After asking the opinion of a few friends and drawing on my own judgment, my best advice is don't have sex on the first date. If you want more out of the person than just a date, then don't give up all you have to offer on the first date. The person doesn't need to know you inside-out by the end of the night. If the person you are dating tries to make you feel as if you need to "put out" or else, then you don't really want to be with them anyway. It's clear what they want.
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Toni Miller
posted 10/07/08 @ 9:19 PM CST
Ms. Hagans,are you a dating expert?
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